further signs of the apocalypse....

 

  

 

not really sure what to title this...

 

but you would think the designers would pick a better place to put the entrance...

it is what is inside that counts!

 

is it intel? or just a hands on display of inflatable polyps?

it's a superspectacular day!

can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?

 

 

i would like you to say the first thing that comes to your mind when i show you this picture...

 

if you see a dog butt, you have issues...

if you see jesus, you have serious issues!

this is why we need gun laws! think of the babies!

people change, hairstyles change, interest rates fluctuate.

joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?

 

wow, they look like so much fun!

great! how am i supposed to pee now?

 

and i am not even catholic!

currently reading...

well, it seemed like a good idea at the time... part 2! THE REVENGE!

they went from mom's homemade "dripping vagina" pie to...

 to mom's homemade "dripping brick wall and american flag" pie!

AND THE WINNER OF "WELL, IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME" IS...

 

THE SCORPIONS! nothing like using a little child pornography to sell your albums.

of course they had some second thoughts a few years later, so they replaced it with a lame band picture... those crazy germans! what were they thinking? kiddie porn is timeless! i think the second guy on the left is asking... "you aren't mad, are you?" and the other is saying... "it was all a joke, don't you get it? bah da dum! TISH!"

well, it seemed like a good idea at the time...

maybe this one turned out to be too self-explanatory?

and this is an example of album cover by committee...

file this under "too cheap to hire a professional, let a band member do the artwork..."

maybe she is still proud of this one...

since i am on another roll... more unfortunate use of words...

i think it is time to revive the word SNATCH...

Passion of the Great Snatch (AUDIO)

when i was a kid we had it tough!

 

 KIDS, these days! with their smooth, plastic slides... they do not know what adversity is!

reaching for the outer limits of the derivative...

still waiting on the plumber spidey and earring spiderman

LOOK OUT! IT'S...

 

WHERE!?!?!?

and here's an update from your local news department...

call in to your local police department if you happen to see this dangerous criminal... what?

i think this storm is going to unload a bunch of white stuff on new york this evening...

WHOA! hang on... i feel a flashback coming on! right now!

WHOA! dude! that is like totally groovy, man! i did not know that dodge vans could be soooo cool! i will totally get the hot chicks now. they will not be able to ignore me cruisin' in this love machine! it even has psychedelic exhaust! but shouldn't it be nav teerts? oh man, now i am confused...

this one is next on my reading list!

there are plenty of sick people that need to read this one...

play today, for your job tomorrow...

i bet he will suggest that they pretend to use the backscatter x-ray next. 

but i bet that joke needs explaining...

not much i can add to this... except maybe some tin foil around the body and bridge.

but definately keep the bud light engines!

you gotta love 60s french music videos...

this deserves its own space...

now, i sincerely wish i could hear a sample of this...

since i am on an album roll, i might as well throw these out as well...

i can't wait!!!

and you thought your band was emo!

mein gott!

pinch me, i think i am dreaming!

but somehow i do not think i will offend the fans of these albums as much as the fans of MANOWAR!

someone thought this was cool at one time... i wonder if they still do?

OH YEAH! i wonder if i can find a video...

YES! i can!

Manowar - Battle Hymns LIVE
sounds kind of like ronny james dio... or is it just that type of music from that era?

NEWS FLASH! now that i dig a little deeper this album cover is actually from 1997. i am not sure if this makes it more amusing or not...i thought it was heavy metal from the 80s, but it is also 90s hair metal. all of which makes me want to dive deeper and see what else i can dredge up of the genre.

what new hazard for drinking too much this time?

*sigh* it used to be all so simple!

me, after enough coffee!

*click* damn *click* styrofoam *click* TNT *click*

notice i did not say after too much coffee, there is no such thing!

dredged up from the deep archives of the "just plain old bad ideas" department

kids get started early! practice now for the real thing later!

maybe we should all just kaba-kick ourselves...

everywhere i look i am reminded of my ex-wife...

 

 

what is wrong with me? 

which way to paradise island?

oh man, do we have to raise the wonder woman question too? are all our heroes suspect and should be subject to greater scrutiny? it was all so innocent in the old days. or was it???

do you think she will teach me next?

me and the army...

here is a photo recreation of my time in the army...

 you can put a hippie into the army, but you cannot make them kill...

how nature says, "do not touch!"

do you remember this far side?

i think this woman qualifies...

you really do not want to know what she was arrested for...

in this day and age you just have to ask yourself... do you feel lucky?

or would it be that you are just unreasonably unwilling to touch your own willy? i just hope it wash its hands after it shakes... there is a contradicting oxymoron lurking in all of this...

the first horseman of the new apocalypse (extreme!)

i bring you... CORPULENCE! famine is so passe... who has time for famine anymore? at least, no one that we hear about or care about for that matter. back in the old days the four horsemen repsresented things that were beyond mankind's control. but now that we have a grip on at least two of them, they have mutated from random, savage things to passive lifestyle things.

BEHOLD! i bring the first sign of the pocky lips! and its name shall thunder in the heavens, and it shall be known as the *in booming bass voice* DOUBLE DOWN!

yessiree, that is two deep fried chicken breasts serving as a "bun," sandwiching  bacon and 2, count em, 2 cheap processed cheeses! feel your mouth watering now! oh, did i forget to mention the *snicker* colonel's special sauce?

so... my next question is... would you like a diet pepsi with that heart attack?

would this be acceptable for casual fridays?

in my head i am wearing a lion suit...